Horror, Romance and Pornography - Something for Everyone!

"Eternal Teacher" &

"A Kiss to Save Him from the Grave!"
Charlton Comics
Haunted Love

Cover art by Tom Sutton
Number 1
1973

Obviously I love romance comics. I also love horror. Especially bad horror. For me horror either needs to be really good or so bad that it's good. None of this mediocre garbage or worse yet, stuff so bad that it is ACTUALLY bad. That is just a tragic waste of potential.

At times horror has made me hesitant to turn out the lights, afraid to look in the mirror, startled by any unexplained noise in the night, but worst of all, horror has made me watch porn.

I'm not saying that I was watching a horror film that turned out to be porn, no. Just that, after watching a really badly acted horror film, my senses were dulled enough that when flipping to find something to watch the following evening I didn't recognize the clear "I'm Porn!" indicators in the next badly acted film. That is, until it was TOO late. (I should have known that a man running for government office wouldn't be so ripped.)

And I should know my porn. Many years ago I worked customer service for a cable company and any time some nineteen year old was too cheap to pay for his evening entertainment he'd call me to say that his pay-per-view picture quality was bad and he didn't want charged for his selection. He would inevitably be embarrassed as I put him on hold to check the channel on my end only to come back to explain that A) it was sun spots and he would be credited (very rare) or B) that that IS what it looks like when you film a porno in the back room of a Taco Bell with a camera phone (less rare).

Anyway, my whole point is, before I got off track, that I love romance comics and horror, so could there be any greater combination? I didn't think so either.

I would normally prefer to hold off my horror romance until October but I am just in the mood, so today I bring you Haunted Love #1.

First we have Eternal Teacher, script by Nicola Cuti with art by Joe Staton.

Next up we have A Kiss to Save Him From the Grave with no information on the writer but with art credit going to Tom Sutton.

Now wasn't that fun?

Jonnie Love says "Hate the game, not the player."

"Wild and Wonderful"
Charlton Comics
Teen Age Love
Number 81
1972

Wild and Wonderful - two words that no doubt describe As Told To Stan Lee's unofficial mascot, Jonnie Love. Though you will more regularly hear him described as a Bearded Satan, both titles work.

As I wait patiently for another twelve Jonnie Love comics to arrive by mail, I though I would share my last story at hand.

In Wild and Wonderful we once again run into Jonnie Love as he hangs out with kids WAY too young for him.

I believe the cover says it best. "Even though Felicia is Doc's girl, she turns Jonnie on ... and she knows it! Can Jonnie Love resist this temptation?"

I've never known a bearded man that could.

Jonnie Love is nervous. And he should be. One more run in with the law and he might end up being the prettiest girl at the ball. Jonnie knows that his facial hair is like a magnet for the Fuzz but it is also this same skillfully trimmed Vandyke that keeps him swimming in the ladies.

It doesn't take much for Jonnie to outrun the mob of what I must assume are would be rapists, except for precious, precious gasoline.

Pleasure Lake, Jonnie's favorite place.

After the thrilling get away, Felicia, in her excitement , allows Jonnie to get to first base. But this doesn't please the second player in our tale.

Jonnie, instantly appealing to everyone who encounters him, soon hears the sad sorted story that has brought our three players together and though Jonnie's initial instinct is to punch his rival, it always is, he find himself getting involved.

And he knows why.

Of course Felicia is only human, and like all females around this bearded bad boy, she can't help but parade herself around like a large bottomed Gringa on a day trip to Tijuana.

And Jonnie can't help but make one attempt to lose the third wheel.

But, in the end, is forced to make his move with poor Dock watching.

Realizing that Dock doesn't plan to ever leave them alone, Felicia takes matters into her own hands and asks Jonnie to take her home, giving her an opportunity to be manhandled by a real professional.

Before leaving, Dock asks a favor of Jonnie as well.

Jonnie gives his word that he will let Dock's parents know where his is. But with Jonnie, pleasure always comes before business.

But all too soon, Jonnie find himself at the home of Dock Riley to deliver the promised message to his parents.

Dock's parents instantly sucome to Jonnie's charms. Expecially Mrs. Riley who quickly pulls together a meal to send with him when he leaves. Sexual frustration = bagged lunch.

I would wager that there is a steak in there.

That night sleep does not come easily to our hirsute lothario.

The next morning, with Jonnie's incouragement Dock returns to school to explain his absence and, hopefully, get put back on the team. This does not make Felicia happy.

Jonnie, of course, already knows the answer. Jonnie Love has nothing if not a intimate understanding of human nature.

Jonnie Love doesn't do seconds and this makes the best excuse ever to escape.

That was a close call for Jonnie Love, almost too close.

Jonnie Love lives the dream.

"The Face of Love!"

Charlton Comics
Teen Age Love
Art by Eccio
Number 96
1973

There is not doubt that if there is a favorite here at As Told to Stan Lee it is none other than Charlton Comics' Jonnie Love.

Woman love you, men want to be him. Comic writers want to write about him, illustrators want to draw him. Comic covers long for his gentle caress.

Well, don't worry, there always seems to be enough of Jonnie Love to go round, as you'll see in today feature "The Face of Love!!"

Here, in this little nine page story you'll learn why Jonnie Love is known as the man who is always there when you need him. And, though he doesn't remember asking, is more than happy to take a little of what you're offering.

Please note: Jonnie Love just scored with both a mother and daughter. Most men would be texting their friends about now. Jonnie? He just drove away.