Filibuster! I don't even know her!

Vote for Me, Darling!
Charlon Comics
Career Girl Romances
Story Art by Charles Nicholas and Vince Alascia
Number 63
1971

Whether you are looking for steaming hot romance, or are merely looking for career options, Charlton Comic's Career Girl Romances title comes through for us once again!

In Vote for Me, Darling we learn that there is nothing a bleeding-heart-liberal can't accomplish with an obsession and the right woman by his side. 

The right woman you ask? Well for small town drifter Lew Cantrell that woman is Linda Miles. Obsession you ask? We'll get to that later.

 

Oh ladylike Congresswoman Linda Miles, surely you know that romance for a politician isn't conduced on public streets. No, it's conducted from the Senate floor, brothels and in men's restroom.

Our story begins at the office/rustic home of Judge Stern (Judge to his friends).

But make no mistake, Judge Stern is not just an intimidating suit and impressive mustache, no. He is also a father-like figure to one Linda Miles, community college graduate and quite the looker.

 

After Judge Stern's subtle attempt to push his baby-bird out of the nest and into the loving arm's of the American people ...

Is it just the orange shirt or does Lew look like Charles Nicholas and Vince Alascia's version of Aquaman? The obsession with waterways isn't helping. 

With the Judge's gout bothering him, - Hey, I didn't write this. - The Judge asked Linda to let Lew show her what he is talking about.

It would be so hot right now if he started talking to fish.

And like every man who is this good looking, he is able to completely change the course of another human beings life.

Of course he's right Linda! Have you seen how good looking he is?

So, with the help of Judge Stern, the ideals of the town drifter and her own good looks and natural charisma, Linda Miles goes into politics.

She's also good with sticking to a theme.

But Linda still remembers the little guy.

 I'm not sure what the significance of the bus stop sign, but its placement makes me feel like I'm missing a double-entendre.

And Lew becomes an integral part of her campaign.

But when Linda wins her bid for election...

So, she can't be seen with her campaign manager? 

And Linda starts to feel that without Lew, fighting for HIS cause isn't the same.

And like any woman with access to the nearly unlimited funds of the American people, she goes home to find her man.

I personally think that when you file you taxes and they ask if you want to donate a dollar toward the presidential campaign, it should also ask if you want to donate a dollar to the pursuit of love. My answer - HELL YES!

Yes, ladylike congresswoman Linda Miles, your man is not a loser. No doubt you'll live happily-ever-after.

For more information on running for political office ask your local librarian or your town drifter.

Only Spartan women give birth to real men! - Oh honey, you're preaching to the choir!

So I told my husband I was in the mood to watch a movie where lots of people killed each other.

We ended up snagging a copy of 300.

The movie could have only been a better fit if I had voiced a desire to watch something homoerotic with a bunch of well put together men wearing little more than a Speedo, cape and a strategically applied air brushed tan

Well, at As Told to Stan Lee we are not only all about comics, we are also all about objectification. So today I am bringing you the shirtless men of Romance. (Aaron thought I should try for 300 days of shirtless men but even I would grow bored with that.)

Now gentlemen, before you go slinking off to put on a shirt, remember these are the ideal. No one expects you to look this good.

So, with no further delay, lets get to it!

Secret Romances #17 - Ohh, Captain...

Grabby? No need to apologize.


Sweethearts #123 - Never Trust a Sailor

Though, in my experience, the older sailors are normally covered in tattoos of naked women (unless the women they married made them tattoo bikinis on them) so really it's a draw.

Secret Romances #17 - You Never Can Tell

If Lila could only get these two to get along there would be the makings of one hell of a cruise.

I Love You #102 - With the Swingers

I'm all for public displays of affection but these two are just creepy.

Career Girl Romances #62 - Why Does He Kiss Me - ?

Makes you wonder exactly what kind of pills did this younger Stan Lee send for.

Teen Confessions #83 - Daddy's Little Girl!

Well honey, in that case, you should wear your school uniform from eight grade. - Dad has got to get a clue!

Sweethearts 134 - In The Shadows

I bet he smells of nothing but chlorine and masculinity.

Teen Age Love #86 - Hour of Despair

Jonnie L♥ve. Do I really need to say anything else?

Sweethearts 134 - Love Ain't Hat

I'm willing to bet she just threw up a little bit.

Teen Age Love #91 - What Must I Do?

Exactly what are either of you doing that in remotely interesting? Let alone wild.

Secret Romance #13 - All or Nothing

Yeah, I'll let you insert your own joke here. I do have standards you know.

Teen Age Love #66 - Another's Arm

See, I would have thought she started the whole thing when she choose to wear body paint in lieu of a swim suit.

Secret Romance 33 - The Love Goddess

Something about Steve's stance make me think that he might not blame Wharton for finding Wendy attractive but he personally just doesn't swing that way.

And I saved my favorite for last.


For Lovers Only 62 - I'll Pay for These Kisses

If I were Martinez and Elier I would have signed it that large as well.

Alright ladies! You can feel free to go back to your unsatisfactory lives and your sub par men.

It's my Anniversary!

Career Girl Romances #67, February 1972

Country Girl or Country Star
Charlton Comics

When my mother was fifteen she started in a new school. She said that through her entire first class some dorky guy in glasses kept watching her. When class was dismissed he came up to her and the first and only words out of his mouth were "I'm going to marry you someday." She though yeah, right.

Less than two years later they were being driven down to a North Carolina justice of the peace by two very, very disappointed fathers.

You really have to admire my Dad's ability to set a goal and meet it!

I get my determination from my father.

Aaron claims he knew he would marry me after our first telephone conversation. I'd like to say it was because he had discovered that my devastating good looks were rivaled by my keen wit but actually it was because I told him that something he said was like that episode on Star Trek where Nomad thought Kirk was his creater. I have now confirmed for all that, apart from being irresistibly charming, I am also a dork. A confirmation only strengthened by the cake topper at the wedding.

Now, when I first saw my husband, I will admit that marry was not necessarily the verb going through my mind but I had certainly set my sights. The fact that I could see past his mutton chops says a lot about my vision. It wasn't until our third date that I began to suspect that this was definitely the man for me but even I won't go into that.

Well, whether you believe in love, love at first sight or none of the above, As Told To Stan Lees certainly does. And, since I'm feeling a bit sentimental this week, whether from my anniversary or too much Death Cab For Cutie, I decided to share my own young romance.

Once there was a boy who really really liked hats.

And a girl who was always smiling on the outside and look damn good in a leisure suit.

They were unlikely to meet since they grew up a State apart. And one tragic day the little boy was hit by a car while jaywalking across a highway and died.

But, of course, love knows no obstacle too large to conquer.

So, the boy was brought back, a little worse for wear and was allowed to grow up.

In fact, eventually, they both did.

And the boy received a scholarship to a school in the city where the girl lived.

But, while the girl spent all her free time dancing in clubs, the boy worked on his art so, they never ran into each other. (Okay, so perhaps he watched a lot of television. The outcome was still the same.)

Until one day the girl noticed the boy while he was working at a local music store. But he never seemed to notice her. (Bastard!)

The girl was lonely and eventually bought a dog and walked that dog everyday.

It was on one of these walks that she made a discovery. The boy lived in her apartment complex. (Kickass!)

She walked by his apartment every day with her dog. But the boy still never noticed her. (Son of a Bitch!)

But the girl had too much of her father in her so she continued to walk by his apartment everyday. Refusing to be intimidated by the gigantic Winona Ryder poster on his wall and praying that the old Vana White poster wasn't his. (It hasn't! Thank God!) But the boy still didn't notice her. (Mother F---er!)

It wasn't until the girl had nearly give up that it happened. While shopping for a CD the boy asked if she wanted help. She said no but thought better of it and before he had gotten more than a few steps away, called him back. She made ups some bullshit question and they actually spoke.

The boy was very funny *sigh* and very nice *swoon* and when he suggest a band the girl bought the CD even though she totally didn't want it.

The same night the girl's brother, whom she lived with, decided he was going to the same store. So the girl volunteered to go to, hoping that the boy was there. (He was!) Despite the urge the girl did not run, jump up and wrap her legs around the boys waist and arms around his neck and say hi! but they did talk.

The boy finally gave the girl his number. (Damn! Was that so hard?) And the girl gave him hers.

The dog didn't care much for the boy but they learned to love each other.

The boy tried to change the girl but it didn't work. (much)

The girl tried to change the boy. She was better at it and he shaved the mutton chops.

They shopped for a lot of comics and watched a lot of movies.

A few months later he asked her to marry him.

Love Diary #76, January 1972

Love Will Never Come
Art by Charles Nicholas and Vince Alascia
Charlton Comics

They had many bridal showers and received many, many classy gifts.

At the wedding the groomsmen and brides maids all wore tuxes. The girls were upset because the bride would only let them wear a bra under their jackets. (Hey it was my day!) And all the boys acted like James Bond.

There were many, many terrible pictures taken. And the boy and girl danced very poorly.

Later they had a little boy that looked a lot like his father.



One that looked a lot like his mother.



And another for good measure.

The boy and girl still shop for a lot of comics. See far less movies and never get any sleep.

The End.

Happy Anniversary Aaron!

Girls' Romance #119, September 1966

Ask Me About Love .. I'm an Expert!

Art by Bob Oksner and Bernard Sachs
DC Comics

There is Always Time for Workplace Romance!

"Beware, My Love"
Career Girl Romances
Charlton Comics
Story Art by Charles Nicholas & Vince Alascia
Number 75
1972

I have a confession. I've never dated someone I met through work *gasp* but Career Girl Romances leads me to believe that if you were so inclined you'd be hard pressed to throw a stapler without hitting a would be lover.

In fact a friend of mine once claimed to have met the man of his dreams at "the office". He worked at one of those 900 numbers and was always trying to get everyone else to join up because the pay was okay and it "was a fun place to meet other people". Assuming you wanted to meet other people who had the same terrible job you did.

Of course that totally didn't happen because the outcome would have inevitably been a bad one. Lonely Pervert: Hi, how are you doing? Me: Been better. Lonely Pervert: What are you wearing? Me: A Welcome Funeral Directors T-Shirt and men's wing tips I got at the thrift store for $3. Isn't that a bargain?! Lonely Pervert: Um ... Can I talk to someone else? (No offense to the lonely or perverted. Only the lonely and perverted willing to spend $4.99 per minute.)

So perhaps I just missed my workplace affair window. Unless of course you would count the guy who was always trying to corner me alone in the dressing rooms after closing when I worked retail, a writer for the newspaper I freelanced for that said he'd "really find me attractive if I didn't dress so weird." (Okay, if you don't appreciate Fall of the House of Usher chic why are even bothering me?) or the strange man who, after a short conversation about his cable bill when I worked at a customer service call center, went on to explain, in a deeply seductive voice, every detail of how he wanted to drive to my house, sneak inside, feel the side of my oven still warm from where (he hoped) I had been baking, quietly open its door, pull the racks free and climb inside. (God I miss that job!)

Yeah, didn't think they counted either.

"Beware, My Love" is a short story that shows us just how easy it is to find true love at the office. Even while dressed like you're in a barbershop quartet.

When the attractive Derek Ames walks into Lila Cooper waiting room she can't help but like him. Firstly, he wears a tie and all women like ties on some level (probably because it is kind of like a leash), he sports a black shirt like he is in the mob (it's that bad boy thing again) and he asked her to lunch even though she is dressed like a carnie.

Despite the fact that Miss Cooper has probably let hundred, if not thousands, of unsuspecting men into her bosses office to be screwed over, and good, this time, with Derek Ames' resent kindness fresh in her memory, Lila feel true remorse.

After tipping Ames off and suggesting he does not sign the contract, Derek, not great at improve, makes an awkward exist and Lila's boss becomes belligerent.

Derek asks Lila to lunch once again hoping she will explain why he shouldn't have signed the contract. And this time, slipping on a jacked that helps her to look less carnie and more Mary Poppens, Lila accepts.

I like the crows feet on Derek's eyes. If those were on a female the story would inevitably be about being too old to love.


When they part ways after lunch Lila has high hopes for both a new job and more time with Derek.

Drive-In! At this rate she'll be able to quit that new job any day now!

Lets hope Lila is a WAY better kisser than a typist because that could really lead to an uncomfortable yearly review.