How can he love anyone who looks like me? or How to pick up a girl with low self-esteem.

"How Can He Love Anyone Who Looks Like ME?"
Girls Romances
Cover Art by Nick Cardy
Story Art by Jim Pike
Number 144
1969

As a number of you already know, a certain "ailment" has kept me from blogging for some weeks now. Currently I am feeling quite myself again and thought I would try to throw up a post while I still can.

Anyone who knows me knows that I love me a good low self-esteem story. The lower the better. And since it will be only a matter of months before I will be lamenting the same thing, As Told to Stan Lee is happy to present "How Can He Love Anyone Who Looks Like Me?"

In this story we meet the hideous troll that is Joanie, a beautiful blond with one ugly secret. (If you are guessing a third nipple or penis, you are, much to everyone's disappointment, mistaken.)

Like so many girls, it really just takes a single, stupid man to destroy Joanie's self-esteem. In this story, it is David. To help with any confusion from here on out we will refer to him as "Mr. Smooth".

Mr. Smooth seems to be doing quite well this evening with his flattery and attentions, that is until he shows himself to be the dumbass we all suspected him to be.

Yes, he actually said that. Oddly, Joanie doesn't see this for what it is, a stupid comment from a boy who is not likely to get any for a very long time. And instead lets it destroy her fragile self-esteem for years to come.

Good job jackass.

So from that point on, despite her good looks, her adequate rack and her fine ass, Joanie decides to dwell on a mole.

Truthfully her obsession with her mole seems to be her least attractive quality.

Joanie's life looks to be one of loneliness and, possibly, bell ringing. That is until one fateful night when she meets a man who knows his way around a girl with low self-esteem.

Step #1 - Ask her if she is married or going steady, thus implying that you see her as having value.

Step #2 - Talk about not being able to love anyone until you met her.

Step #3 - Tell her she is beautiful.

Step #4 - Tell her how you love that thing about her that she hates so much.

See, it's just SO easy.

As a woman I feel a little bit like a traitor for sharing the keys to scoring with a girl who has low self-esteem but I figure it does go both ways.

That's why it's so easy to score with guys who like comic books!

More Vietnam-Time Romance.

"Second Choice!"
Heart Throb

DC Comics

Cover Art by Nick Cardy
Story Art by Tony Arbuzzo
Number 121
1969

Once again we have a story in which the Vietnam War plays somewhat of a role. In this case, it allows for a convenient set-up where we can find a newly married man raising another man's baby without implying anything improper on anyone's part.

Okay, so convenient may be a bit of an exaggeration. The whole set up is terribly contrived and seems wholly unnecessary. But we are talking about the moral standards of the 'Code' and not necessarily a reflection of reality. I mean surely my parents weren't the only young teens driven down South for a quickie wedding in the late 1960's.

With Second Choice! we enter a story already underway. In a scene played out a thousand times before, Jim walks in on his girlfriend Amy in the arms of another man. The arms of a good friend.

Jim, though madly in love with Amy, is a complete gentleman about the situation and even acts as the Best Man in the wedding. But don't worry, give him a chance, he will eventually show his true colors and like all men reveal himself to be the tool he really is.

Now, of course, things get complicated. Serving together, Billy is a constant reminder to Jim of the woman he loves and the life that would have been his.

And then tragedy strikes.

Wounded himself, Jim is soon home. And thrown together by circumstance, it is only a matter of time before the feelings Amy felt for Jim before meeting Billy start to come back.

It only takes 3 months of marriage before the reality of having a baby really starts to sink in for Jim.

And raising someone else's baby at that.

Eventually the sleep deprivation has Jim cracking up.

And when you are THAT tired, not to mention badly in need of a quick tumble in the back room of a Thom McAn, you are bound to act like a jackass.

What a tool.

Of course, everyone deserves a chance to redeem themselves.

It is hard to believe it took Jim that long to figure it out. Maybe that war wound was a head injury.