Friday, January 22, 2010

Oh food, is there no problem you CAN'T solve?

The Eyes of Love
Charlton Comics
Illustrated By: Charles Nicholas
Career Girl Romances

Number 48

So that you won't mistakenly think that Marvel had a monopoly on understanding the modern career girl, Charlton Comics gives us Career Girl Romances and one of my all time favorites The Eyes of Love.

In The Eyes of Love we are thrown into the life of Roz, a model at the pinnacle of her career. Though she is one of the world's top paid models and considered one the world's most beautiful women, Roz can not help but shed a tear because the man she loves does not return her feelings. Rudi is her photographer and in fact doesn't seem to see the women he photographs as anything but product. He demonstrates this fact by casually telling one of his models that he can no longer use her because, as he so delicately puts is, "you're a cow now". How can you NOT fall in love with this guy?

Upon leaving a photo shoot one day Roz confronts the man of her dreams in an awkwardly written conversation where she both praises him for his encouragement to better herself with speech, ballet and acting lessons (insert foreshadowing music here) and derides him for lessening her beauty in person by making her lose weight for the camera.

Wow! Could he be a bigger jerk? Yes, yes he can.

Later, while lunching with a far less attractive friend a handsome man approaches their table and to Roz's surprise the man in question tries to pick up her companion instead of her. For Roz, that is the last straw.

And she does show him, with a week of gluttony the likes of which has not been seen since Roman times.

Wow, looks like she is only 9 pounds underweight now. Good for you Roz!

When next she returns to Rudi's studio he seems to instantly take notice of her and tells her how nice she is looking. But after he develops that day's film all Hell breaks loose.

He tells her how she bulges and yells that she did it on purpose. And then goes into a tirade about the science that is photography.

So Roz is out of the modeling business but all that "bettering herself" wasn't for nothing. She soon becomes a celebrity on the game show circuit. Then, while out for dinner with her producer she runs into Rudi where he explains his true feelings about her weight.

And about his true feelings for her.

So Roz finally has the man she loves. Of course Rudi isn't the only love in her life:

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Torn From the Pages of REAL LIFE!

Love Isn't in the Cards
for Me!

Marvel Comics
As Narrated To: Stan Lee
Illustrated By: John Buscema, J. Romita, Frank Giacoia
Our Love Story

Number 33

Surely there can be no doubt that Stan Lee was a woman in another life. How else is it that he is able to hit so close to what makes us Girls tick?

As proof of the theory, I present you with "Love isn't in the Cards for Me!" The story of a lonely entrepreneur with wicked eyeliner and the smock of the kindergarten teacher.

In the story we meet Kathy Stewart, the owner of a greeting card shop in the Village. Oddly, this particular greeting card shop is not swarming with single, straight men and our girl is missing the one thing that means more to her than anything, a boy to love.

But one fateful day, while Kathy's friends rub her face in their love, she actually stumbles into Jim, the man of her dreams. A man who seems to be hip to the newest trends in greeting cards. Could there be any doubt that this man was made specifically for her?

Our girl is smitten. She not only agrees go out with him, but she also agrees to order Heartbeat Cards for her store. Remember, they're the wildest!

After what looks to be the date that 15 year old kids have, Kathy is in love but much like real life, this isn't happy ever after.

When Heartbeat Cards ships her an incorrect order, Kathy decides to go to their offices in person only to find out that Jim is actually their top sales person. *SOB*

Kathy is heartbroken. She closes her card shop up for days, sitting in the dark of her apartment crying over a man she's known for as long as it takes a greeting card company to fill a first order. But, finally deciding she can't hide from life, she returns to work only to discover that someone has been running her shop in her absence.

She does not have the same response I would.

In a climax that is not at all weird, Jim, the now former head sales person of Heartbeat Cards has somehow broken into her shop and been running it while she was away.

Wow Kathy! He's a keeper.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Why As Told to Stan Lee?

When I first discovered romance comics I was amazed. How had I never known that something so ridiculously wonderful existed? Romance stories where girls (which apparently women prefer to be called) were never truly complete without a man by their side. Girls that wanted nothing more than a boy to take them away from their day-to-day lives as store clerks, socialites, or, god forbid, unpopular high school students. *gasp*

Some of the best stories were from Marvel, where many of them touted "As Told to Stan Lee". Now don't get me wrong, Stan Lee rules, but I refuse to believe that any girl ever felt compelled to pour out her soul to him and then let him publish it all in comic form.

These comics where full of loneliness, "hip slang", rich men and misunderstood bad boys just waiting for the right girl to come along.

So, lets forget all about Elizabeth Gaskell and Jane Austen. Let's sit down and enjoy stories of secretaries and the architects that will let them quit their jobs and support them.

Romance - As you like it!