Helmets and Handbars - Hump Day with Jonnie Love

"One Kiss"
Charlton Comics
Teen-Age Love
Cover art by Art Cappello
Story art by Bill Fraccio
Number 72
1970

You've heard it said a thousand times - love is like learning to dance, or some variation on that theme. Not likely.

Love is like a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. And a Vandyke beats a Handlebar Mustache EVERY time. Feel free to quote me on that.

In One Kiss Jonnie Love's supernatural appeal to the opposite sex has him, once again, playing for his life. Jonnie, in one of the almost too numerous to count, cities with ample beach-front property, that apparently litter the length of this great nation, finds himself yet again with his arms around a girl with a prior claim.

But that claim is not made by just anyone. It's made by the Satan's Horde. And they want their hag back.

Jonnie's plan is to take Paula back home to her parents, but Paula warns that the Horde won't be too happy about it.

Paula is all too right.

Nick, obviously the Queen Bee of the rough and tumble biker gang, tries to distract Jonnie while Morrie grabs their hag and runs, by bringing up a subject that Jonnie Love is very passionate and opinionated about. Crash helmets.

Paper covers rock.

But, though temporarily distracted into voicing the thoughts brought about from many, many hours of crash helmet contemplation, Jonnie realizes the trick, but a little too late.

Yes, Go Get'em tiger!

As Jonnie runs for his bike to try and save the blonde he comes to a realization.

Damn, he's both sexy and smart.

But as he sped off the Horde got an idea. An awful idea. The Horde got a wonderfully, awful idea.

Rock smashes scissors.

Will Jonnie Love's almost religious anti-crash helmet stance cost him his life?

Not this time.

And, as if by divine providence, Jonnie's redheaded bootylicious nurse knows a guy, who knows a guy.

And it isn't long before Jonnie Love's weird, and up until now unknown, obsession with crash helmets actually pays off.

Thank you hot nurse!

Soon both Jonnie and his bike are all patched up and he is delivered a crash helmet straight out of one of his weird helmet-related fantasies.

It has everything he's ever wanted in a helmet. And that includes his initials right on the side. Kick Ass!

And when I say everything. I mean EVERYTHING.

Pace yourself Jonnie, you've just gotten released from the hospital.

Jonnie is quickly back on the road to see Paula. And, as expected, his helmet is a big, sexy hit with the ladies.

But Jonnie Love's presence again in town has drawn the attention of the Horde.

But, luckily for Jonnie Love, much like a bird's inability to distinguish a clear, plate glass window, gays can't see plastic.

Which helps him to kick some ass WITHOUT having to run to the police or some parental authorities.

Rock kicks ass!

Paula thanks him for the floor show.

And once again Jonnie Love is off to ... um ...where was that now?

Oh yeah, that's right.

Hump Day with Jonnie Love - Don't Love Harriet!

"Don't Love Harriet!"
Charlton Comics
Teen-Age Love
Cover art by Luis Avila
Story art by Tony Tallarico
Number 67
1969

I first ran into Jonnie Love in Teen-Age Love #82 in a story called Make Room in Your Heart ... For Me! I found a story about a bearded, seduction-song singing, wanderer whose internal dialogue seem to consist primary of worries about beard-related prejudice, beyond entertaining.

The more I have read of Jonnie Love, and as of today I have read a hell of a lot, the more entertaining I find him.

While he is definitely played up as a hippie-type he is also ALL ABOUT authority. It seems any chance this bearded rebel gets to run and tattle to the police or, even better, to someone's parent, the happier he is.

Despite the motorcycle, the vandyke, the shaggy hair (and believe me it gets really shaggy), the hip clothes and the fact that he is just passing through like some kind of vagabond, parents seem to instantly trust him.

Of course there is also almost always a girl who tries to use him and a guy who feels the need to run him down in a car.

In Don't Love Harriet! we once again witness another damn interuption in Jonnie Love's continual quest to make it home. This time a fishnet stocking wearing harpy tries to use Jonnie for her own selfish ends and get herself a lesson in LOVE.

Wow, is that the least sexy kiss ever?

Thank goodness Jonnie is a good guy, that kind of silver tongued singer-song writing ability could so easily be used for nefarious purposes.

Exactly how long is that Jonnie? At this rate you might not make it before Charlton closes its doors.

Hump Day with Jonnie Love - The Enchanter

"The Enchanter"

Charlton Comics
Teen-Age Love
Cover art by Charles Nicholas and DiDendetto
Story art by Bill Fraccio
Number 66
1969

Welcome to a second installment of Hump Day with Jonnie Love! A day dedicated to everyone's favorite well-intentioned youth or middle -aged sexual deviant? You decide.

Well today's story, once again, has everything we have come to expect from the Jonnie Love mythos. We have hot chicks, a need for a gas can, fisticuffs, young girls oddly aroused by fisticuffs, trusting parents and a delicious meal.

In The Enchanter we meet up with Jonnie after a mishap involving exhaustion and an empty railroad car. A railroad car that has taken him unaware and spit him out onto the beautiful sandy beaches of sunny Florida.

Can a state blessed by God himself for use by only the richest among us accept a man like Jonnie Love? Our Jonnie Love? A drop-out? A rebel? You'll have to wait and see.

Jonnie Love, as always, is trying to make he way home. As it has always been, Jonnie survives on the charity of others. More often than not, charity comes in the form of a well-turnedout blonde with short-shorts and a tight top.

Today is no different.

Jonnie, who can never say no to a lady, agrees and it is only a matter of time before his underage blonde detector helps him to saves the day.

Nice ass Jonnie Love!

Like all woman, Tessa and her mother finds it easy to tell Jonnie about their own personal business. And this little bit of information has Jonnie Love getting involved.

Getting involved is always a painful proposition for Jonnie Love. In this case resulting in having his ass kicked by a dude in a Nazi helmet, while being watched by a dude in a turban.

And not for the first time, Jonnie Love finds himself held captive in the trunk of a car. The truck of a car in the blazing hell like temperatures of freakin' Florida.

Jonnie tells Tessa that her Guru is a fraud and is after her parent's money. Unexpectedly, this brain-washed youth believes him right away. Maybe it's his devil beard.

After enjoying watching Jonnie kicking ass, enjoying it maybe a little too much, Jonnie and Tessa come up with a plan.

A plan that involves Jonnie Love kicking even more ass and saving the day.

Of course, in their gratitude, the Blair's offer Jonnie Love their oldest daughter.

Patience little sister, your time will come.

Oh Jonnie Love, our thoughts are with you.

One part romance, two parts HORROR

"Richard" &
"I'll Never Let You Go!"
Charlton Comics
Haunted Love
Cover art by Frank Bolle
Number 2
1973

Well I still haven't managed to shake the horror bug. I've tired, I swear, but it just isn't that easy. So, once again I am going to force my horror desires on you.

You can always click away to another site but I will know who you are and I will shame you until your dying day.

Of course, for many of you, I had planned to do that anyway.

First up we have another teaming up of Nicola Cuti, on script. and Joe Staton, art.

With a bit of a twist ending, that is also sort of sweet, please enjoy Richard.

I would like to think that Richard didn't give Terese enough credit. (I'm a bit of a romantic.) But I am sure that he was right to think her that shallow. (I'm also a bit of a realist.)

Next up I'll Never Let You Go!, with script by Joe Gill and some fantastic art by Frank Bolle. Within the pages of this story you see all the influence of that early seventies Edwardian revival which gives us some really great textures and splended clothing in those bedroom scenes. But don't worry, there are still plenty of mini skirts and turtlenecks.

You know, I think I might have dated that guy.

Hump Day with Jonnie Love

I know if may seem odd for a blog called As Told to Stan Lee to obsess over, of all things, a reoccurring Charlton Comics character. But hey, sometimes things take on a life of their own.

Well today I received my newly ordered, highly coveted, 12 Charlton issues featuring Jonnie Love, seven of which have a Jonnie Love cover. *swoon*

Now I know what you are thinking - "Wow! You are quite possibly the perfect woman, do you perchance have a sister?". I do, but she hates comic books. Now, if you don't mind, back to the subject at hand.

Well in my excitement I concluded that I had three options. First, posting all twelve, in their entirety, this very evening. Too much work and over WAY too quickly. Second, soaking in a bubble bath while drinking heavily and reading these newly acquired treasures. Dangerous combination AND terribly bad for the comics. Or, lastly, I could just pace myself and post one issue each week for twelve glorious weeks.

This last option has won out, so welcome to the first ...

HUMP DAY WITH JONNIE LOVE

(Charlton Comics' Teen Confessions #55 - Mini Poster)

Wow, those are some tight pants Jonnie Love!