Jonnie Love - NARK!

"Buy me a Dream!"
Charlton Comics
Teen-Age Love

Script by Joe Gill

Cover and Story art by Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez

Number 89
1972

Well we all knew it was only a matter of time. Jonnie Love's attention to grooming, his unquestionable knack for running into trouble and his nearly mythical respect for authority could have lead to only one thing.

Jonnie Love - Nark!

And who makes a better undercover agent than a guy who looks just a little to old to be hanging out with teenagers. (For those of you over 30 like myself, think of it like 21 Jump Street with only Richard Grieco.)

In "Buy Me a Dream", Jonnie Love "the rover" is, well, run off the road. And, in fact, he is run off the road by a beautiful blonde. That Joe Gill doesn't beat around the bush.

Jonnie quickly deduces that this beautiful blonde in under the influence of something very powerful. And it's not his machismo, not yet anyway.

At the party Joanne tries to score more illegal substance from Bunkie. But Bunkie senses that Jonnie Love is not a man to be trusted. (Maybe because he looks to be about 40.)

Joanne offers to take Jonnie to his bike. Jonnie excepts and takes advantage of the time to question her about her drug of choice. ( Which is still not him, but don't worry, it will be.)

Told you!

After they part ways, Jonnie find some ditch somewhere to sleep in. Despite the fact that he is just passing through and can't afford to get involved, he finds himself thinking about Joanne.

And then Jonnie Love is hassled by the man.



After a speech worthy of Dragnet, Jonnie excepts the offer of his dream job.

Jonnie Love knows the seriousness of using controlled drugs, so he get started right away. And soon has his suspections about Buckie being the source of the tranks confirmed.

Finally Jonnie starts to gain the trust of the pusher.

And, like any good sting operation, it takes almost no time at all and the police take the time to point out the nark.

Good going cop! Let just hope Bunkie never gets out of jail or Jonnie IS going to be rundown in the street.

The Jonnie Love Drinking Game

"Backlash!"
Charlton Comics
Teen-Age Love
Script by Joe Gill
Story art by Tony Tallarico (as Tony Williams)
Number 73
1970

Welcome back to another week of Hump Day with Jonnie Love!

For those of you tuning in late, two weeks ago our hero scored himself a sweet plastic helmet thanks so Hot Nurse and some guy who apparently must have wanted to score with Hot Nurse.

Now that we are all on the same page, it's time to play the Jonnie Love Drinking Game. Everyone knows how a drinking game works, so here are the Jonnie Love specifics.

You must take a drink when:

1. Someone starts talking shit about Jonnie Love.
2. Someone tries to kill / run Jonnie Love off the road.
3. Jonnie Love finds himself a blonde.
4. Jonnie Love eats steak.
5. Jonnie Love plays a song of seduction on his acoustic guitar.
6. Jonnie Love goes into his speech about "going home".
7. Jonnie Love gets some action.
8. Jonnie Love pushes someone into a pool
9. Jonnie Love punches or gets punched.
10. Jonnie Love runs out of gas.
11. Jonnie Love teaches someone about making rash
judgements/poor decisions.
12. Jonnie Love calls in the authorities.

See, simple enough. And if you play it right, you won't be able to stand up!

Looks like someone's talking shit. Time for the 1st drink!



Someone has run him off the road. Time for your 2nd drink!



Is that a blonde I see? Drink 3!



Sure is, might as well have a 4th!



Yes! A steak and a he's got that guitar out! Drink 5 and 6!

Going Home! 7!Now that kiss totally counts! Drink 8!



Looks like another attempt on his life to me! Have yourself your 9th drink.



Looks like these tough guys are talking more shit. ! Have yourself your 10th drink.



Well, he IS at a gas station, so I think that should count. Drink 11! And WOW, is that Jonnie love leaping out like a tiger to kick some ass? Time for Drink 12!



Lesson taught, authorities called. Fantastic! 13 and 14!

Jonnie Love should be pretty much irresistible by now.

Longing to put on shoes and leave the kitchen?

The world has come a long way since my mother in-law was hired to "dress up the office" only to get fired once she become pregnant.

Yep, today there are all kinds of opportunities out there for us girls. And you'd be surprised at how few involve bunny tales. (Tragic really.)

With unemployment flirting with record breaking numbers make sure to check out Ms. Jacque Nodell's FABULOUS blog Sequential Crush as she helps you ...

Just click the image above!

Ask Spectergirl!

I will admit that it has been a while since a poor soul out there in need of advice has awaken my more benevolent side. But thanks to the talented Rob Kelly, blogger extraordinaire and all around great guy, I have found just that.

It takes a real man to own himself some Teen Love Stories. It takes an even better man to give them to me! Thanks Rob! You are truly the bee's knees.

Now we best hurry, it's been 43 years and we might be too late!

(originally answered incorrectly in Teen Love Stores Magazine# 1, 1967)

Miss C,

I don't know what the hell the Order for the Rainbow for Girls is, but it is most assuredly one of two things.

It it either A - a cult. In which case don't bother to do your nail, you'll be planting rhubarb in some communal garden before the end of the week. Or B - some kind of lesbian experimentation club, in which case, definitely do your nails, buy really expensive panties and take careful notes. That kind of thing is New York Times Best Seller GOLD! And if you're looking THAT good you'll be the main character in everyone elses book too!

Masquerade Marriage - More Matt Baker Art!

"Masquerade Marriage"
St. John
Teen-Age Temptations
Cover art by Matt Baker
Story art by Matt Baker
Number 8
1954

If I ever had myself a daughter I would be sure to make her read this this story. Since I have sons, I will hide it in fear that they might get some ideas.

Once again we are blessed with the incredible talent of Matt Baker. American Art Archive states he was an artist that specialized in Good Girl Art. I believe that Good Girl is not the description one would, at first glance, use for many of the St. John stories he lent his talent to but my Great Grandmother always said that "Good girls are the ones who get caught" and I think after a closer look at these stories, Good Girl is a fine description.

In Masquerade Marriage we meet two high school girl who think themselves more worldly then they are and who learn a tough lesson in a rather shocking, even by today's standards, way. I believe perhaps Pat and Jetta are more Good Girl than they might first appear.

Matt Baker's art is, as always, gorgeous. With wonderful story telling, great texture and, born of a true understanding of anatomy and the female form, extremely sexy women.

I hope you enjoy Masquerade Marriage. And please make sure to check out KB's Out of this World entry on Matt Baker from December 2009. Just click here!

Terrible Week - With an apology to Jonnie Love

Sometimes weeks come along that are so utterly without joy that you can barely stand the idea of the many weeks that loom out from the future and its wicked abyss.

This has been one of those very weeks.

Sorry Jonnie Love for missing Hump Day but I will try and make it up to you and your newly acquired Lucite helmet.

Helmets and Handbars - Hump Day with Jonnie Love

"One Kiss"
Charlton Comics
Teen-Age Love
Cover art by Art Cappello
Story art by Bill Fraccio
Number 72
1970

You've heard it said a thousand times - love is like learning to dance, or some variation on that theme. Not likely.

Love is like a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. And a Vandyke beats a Handlebar Mustache EVERY time. Feel free to quote me on that.

In One Kiss Jonnie Love's supernatural appeal to the opposite sex has him, once again, playing for his life. Jonnie, in one of the almost too numerous to count, cities with ample beach-front property, that apparently litter the length of this great nation, finds himself yet again with his arms around a girl with a prior claim.

But that claim is not made by just anyone. It's made by the Satan's Horde. And they want their hag back.

Jonnie's plan is to take Paula back home to her parents, but Paula warns that the Horde won't be too happy about it.

Paula is all too right.

Nick, obviously the Queen Bee of the rough and tumble biker gang, tries to distract Jonnie while Morrie grabs their hag and runs, by bringing up a subject that Jonnie Love is very passionate and opinionated about. Crash helmets.

Paper covers rock.

But, though temporarily distracted into voicing the thoughts brought about from many, many hours of crash helmet contemplation, Jonnie realizes the trick, but a little too late.

Yes, Go Get'em tiger!

As Jonnie runs for his bike to try and save the blonde he comes to a realization.

Damn, he's both sexy and smart.

But as he sped off the Horde got an idea. An awful idea. The Horde got a wonderfully, awful idea.

Rock smashes scissors.

Will Jonnie Love's almost religious anti-crash helmet stance cost him his life?

Not this time.

And, as if by divine providence, Jonnie's redheaded bootylicious nurse knows a guy, who knows a guy.

And it isn't long before Jonnie Love's weird, and up until now unknown, obsession with crash helmets actually pays off.

Thank you hot nurse!

Soon both Jonnie and his bike are all patched up and he is delivered a crash helmet straight out of one of his weird helmet-related fantasies.

It has everything he's ever wanted in a helmet. And that includes his initials right on the side. Kick Ass!

And when I say everything. I mean EVERYTHING.

Pace yourself Jonnie, you've just gotten released from the hospital.

Jonnie is quickly back on the road to see Paula. And, as expected, his helmet is a big, sexy hit with the ladies.

But Jonnie Love's presence again in town has drawn the attention of the Horde.

But, luckily for Jonnie Love, much like a bird's inability to distinguish a clear, plate glass window, gays can't see plastic.

Which helps him to kick some ass WITHOUT having to run to the police or some parental authorities.

Rock kicks ass!

Paula thanks him for the floor show.

And once again Jonnie Love is off to ... um ...where was that now?

Oh yeah, that's right.