Monday, April 12, 2010

That is SO not the most important part of a relationship.

"Apron Strings"
Charlton Comics
Just Married
Art: Art Cappello
Number 107

Anyone who has ever told you that the most important thing in a relationship is communication is either a fool or a liar.

The only time communication is even a close second is when you are giving specific directions on the first.

In Apron Strings we meet a newly wed Vikki Driscoll whose husband doesn't seem to understand this basic truth. But it is pretty obvious that his mother does and will do just about anything she can to stop that horrible strumpet Vikki from deflowering her son.

It didn't look like poor Vikki had much of a chance against Mother Driscoll whose plan of attack was multi-faceted.

She may not have been able to stop her son Carl from marrying but she could certainly hinder his love life by working overtime to fatten Vicki up.

And, just as critical to the plan to destroy Vikki's dream of gettin' some, fattening up her son.

Nothing cripples the libido like a large snack before bedtime and Mother Driscoll knew it.

Mother Driscoll: 1 - Vikki: 0

Mother Driscoll's next move was to keep her son and his new whore too busy to even steal a moment alone. Busy with joyous family gatherings and, when absolutely necessary, with tragedy born of her own hands.

It wasn't long before the strain was just too much for poor Vikki to bear and soon the strain began to leak out into her only free moments with Carl.

And Carl, unaware of what was really lacking in his life, starting filling the void with other things.

And the seed of discontent planted by Mother Driscoll began to take on a life of its own.

Until it nearly destroyed everything Vikki was fighting for. A chance to make it with her lawfully wedded husband.

But even when all things appeared to be turning around, like Pavlov's dog, Carl's desires seem to trigger another kind of hunger.

So Vikki made one last desperate attempt to interest his husband in sex. The old standby, dirty movies. But even that didn't work out as she would have liked.

Vikki was beaten. She she was giving up. She just needed to tell Mother Driscoll that she had won.

If Carl could obtain all he needed from food, so could she.

Vikki's surrendered brought the approval of the entire family. But it also seemed to remind Carl why he had married her in the first place.

Maybe Vicki WILL finally get to third base!


  1. Another great deconstruction, and your reading between the lines really adds to the adventure. Thanks for sharing this one. Yet another classic!

  2. Thanks KB! I was really drawn to this one because of the "Getting Fat" conversation between mother in-law and daughter in-law. I think if I had a large enough selection I would specialize in comics where weight plays a weird role. I'm sure that says something strange (and probably unhealthy) about about me but there you have it.

  3. SpecterGirl: "Anyone who has ever told you that the most important thing in a relationship is communication is either a fool or a liar."

    Wise words "Communication" is the last, pathetic gasp of a doomed relationship anyway. "Honey, let's talk this thing out." Jesus, I still get shivers.

    Top drawer funny as usual! -- Mykal

  4. Now thats a story! I like "Just Married." It definitely has an older, more mature feel to many of its stories.

    Weight does seem to play a large (no pun intended) role in many romance comics -- especially the Charlton ones... could be an interesting study!

  5. Mykal: The husband of one of my business partners always says "I'd like her a whole lot better with my ..." You get the picture. I think there is actually a frightening amount of truth in that.

    And of course that also goes both way!

    Jacque: I take back everything I have said about "Just Married". My memory of it were always fights about where to go for a honeymoon but it is really much more entertaining.

    As for weight, I really find it interesting to watch how the way weight is viewed evolves within romance comics along with society's tastes. Like the story were the photographer is in love with his model but doesn't find her attractive because she is too thin. And you have to love Love Diary's "Too Fat to Frug".

    Maybe it is the "fat kid" syndrome or that I long for the days when Marilyn Monroe's size 12 wasn't considered over weight. Whatever it is I really should start yet another blog dedicated to weight in comics.

  6. I've been so overwhelmed with stuff to do lately that I haven't had time to blog but when I get a moment I'll scan some of the contradictory weight ads from 1950s romance comics. There are the usual ones with girdles to make you look skinny and other actual weight loss devices or programs, but then there's other that encourage women to put on some weight to look more attractive, and I guess that might be something to do with the Jayne Mansfield era.

  7. KB: That would be WONDERFUL!

    I have seen very little of the older ads. I only have 2 or 3 issues from prior to 1960 myself, so the few I have seen have been on other blogs and on which, if you have never been there, has posted complete issues that date in the 40's and 50's with a couple of 60's thrown in.

    When, and if, you do ever find the time I would be totally indebted to you!

  8. In that panel with the car--where are they, Alaska?

  9. Rob!: Yeah, it seems weird that the outside scenes jump from blizzard conditions to being nice enough to play baseball in the yard.

    I've decided to pretend that Art Cappello used the snow panel to reflect the "cooling" of the couple's relationship on a subconscious level.

    See - this story has SO MANY different layers! Makes you feel smarter for having read it does it?